Types of friends

1. The tard:

aka the friend who's always late like you're supposed to meet at 12 and at like 1, they're still at home but they'll be texting you like otw otw you know traffic jams #okaycan

2. Leech:

you're literally like their only friend they just want to do everything with you like no, just no.

3. The communication nono:

They're usually very chilled with you and stuff and you can have so much fun together but they take forever to texts, ignores your messages, just horrible communication skills.

You: Hey where do you wanna go tmr?

Friend: k haha

and when you approach them about it they get angry and everything

4. The -ve:

The one who complains about everything and they think all your tweets are about them like my life doesn't revolve around you and like there's 5 other people pissing me off and the same time, get over it. You're so annoying.

5.Fake friend:

OH, so i told you my biggest darkest secret and i only told you and now somehow, everyone knows #okaycan. Okay so you invited me to your party in your dreams and you got confused in real life. I swear I will.. kk nvm..

6. The...

They'll be like are we considered friends? ...do you hate me? :’( Omg why i love you so much and you're just like calm the f down

7. The convicts: (me)

their parents is just hella crazy and when you guys are just chilling, their mum calls up and that one douchbag will go all like: weeeeed like actually you guys are just sitting at a corner chilling and stuffing your faces with chips and stuff and you guys have to leave early, let out all the boys at the end of the street so they can freeze outside bc that their parent will be watching out the window and she's not allowed to talk to boys and you have to act all proper and stuff rehearsing in your head how to be polite

8.The speakerphone:

Friends that are loud and cannot recgonzie that and when you bring them over you're like shhhh my parents are sleeping and she's all like okay and then 2 seconds she's like: hey.. CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER like girl.. my parents are crazy if you make any noise they're just going to come up and whoooooop my ass k I'm not even kidding.

9. The doormat:

they're SO nice you just want to smack them in the face like they think everyone single person is nice (even though that person is freaking mean to them but like nope, they're still nice) anddd making decisions is right rude.

You: you hungry?

Friend: I'm like whatever we can eat if you want to eat

You: okay but are you like.. hungry? what do you want to eat?

Friend: Mmm.. I'm fine with anything, I guess just anything that taste good

I cannot even.. homygawd

10. Hopeless case:

They need advice on everything but when you spend like 5 hours of your precious time coming out with something.. ANDDDD they do the complete opposite

Friend: My boyfriend cheated on me?

You: For the 4th time? You should prolly just break up with him

Friend: Well, I guess you're right

*Next day*

Friend: WE're engaged :D

11. The confusing spiral:

When you guys are in a group, they just treat you like normally BUT when you're alone, they're soooooo different you're just like wait who are you do i even know you

12. The boss:

They think they're really smart and you're so damn stupid. Even when you guys are just having a normal conversation they just have to come out with some terminology, forever correcting you and everybody have to listen to them like stop okay i hate you.

13. #overlyattached:

Forever hugging you, kissing your cheeks, holding your hand and swinging it all around you are a merry go round

14. The half:

that person was once your friend but one fine day they got into r/s and they don't know how to function without their girfriend/boyfriend and you guys are just hanging out chilling and they whole time they're just on the damn phone with their boo

15. The parent:

Did you drink? Drinking is bad okay and like text me when you get home okay, I won't be able to sleep if you don't okay.

16. 21. Joker: (me)

Sarcasm is my language

17. Emo texter:

After chilling, they'll prolly send you a text like this: hey I just wanna tell you that I had a really good time and thank you for sharing your popcorn with me I can't explain how touched I am, I feel like I can just stuff my face with popcorn whenever I'm with you. Goodnight I love you.

18. Overly caring: (me #guilty #sorry #tryingtobenormal)

You: *coughs*

Friend: OMG here’s some lozenges do you need to see a doc okay yes you do I’ll go with you

19. Forever happy:

They're literally always happy, but sometimes they get a little too happy too often it gets a little annoying like do you even think about life 

20. Special guest:

You have no idea how they are or who they're with but the moment they text you, your heart fills with jellybeans. You know, when you need them one fine day or if they ever need you, you'll be there like they just hold a special place in your heart.

21. Rant receiver: (me)

When that one !@#$%^&* is pissing you off and you just call up that friend and you don't want to hear another alternative perspective you just want to know that everyone else is stupid and you're right. It doesn't matter what situation it is they just get it, like you know that bitch omg she was like eating those chips like she owns the place like no okay just no.

22. The "touch me not":

You: Eh pass your paper up leh.. 

-silence- 

You: HELLOOOOO? ._.

-silence- 

You: OIIIIIII. 

-silence- 

You: *pokes* 

Friend: OMG i told you not to touch me 

You: sorry :(

Friend: -Loads shotgun-