Calendario: March

On the very first day of March, I did more than I did the whole of last month. Aside from writing, I cooked, I drew, I explored, I photographed. These are things I enjoy doing but haven't been doing so. But it's worth it to wait. I learnt that there are things you need to do, no matter whether you like. When that calls, follow. At that point, you might not be able to do much of the things you enjoy, but press on, because it is waiting for you as patiently as you have been. If you have been impatient, the chance will disappear. However, if you wait, your rewards will be close. Despite some challenging decisions, I have been working on something every day. //No matter how small it might seem now, I know that it will slowly build up to somewhere I want to be.//

Time has been passing some quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong, but then I realized time passes quickly when you are enjoying it. In comparison to the past year, I am indeed happier. Not because things have been perfect but because I have been learning to pace myself, as well as regulate my emotions. Things that might have a lot of effect on me in the past, does not affect me as much now. //Challenges did not grow any smaller, it's just that I am looking at it in a different light now.//

Calendario: Every month in this world is a chapter. What will start to unravel, or will life remain stagnant?

Rewind back to: Chapter 2

Just the girl next door

I don't want to be normal anymore
Not just anyone next door
I had enough of conforming
To what I don't believe
Take me
Let me fly
To my dreams

Calendario: January

I guess I don't like the feeling that nothing much is happening. You know, every day is just okay. There is no huge catastrophe, but neither is there much happiness. The days no longer bring with it challenges, and chances for me to grow. I really don't like being stagnant. I rather sail through the storms than sit on a boat with no direction or destination in mind. This month is a little different. I have decided to make a change, and by saying that, I actually did something. "Who even keeps their New Year Resolutions?" Perhaps everyone breaks all the rule within the first week, I always did too. Procrastinating, pushing back my schedules, and saying that there is still time. But no, there is no more time. And every second that is passing with me still no doing anything is a waste. I am not saying that I won't let myself take breaks, but if I do, it's for the longer run. The run that has a goal in mind. Maybe the reason why I always fall short is because I didn't know what I wanted and my resolutions are just the typical ones. The reasons I made them? Because it's almost like we have to, and if we do otherwise, we are doing this life thing all wrong.

This year I set resolutions, or I would like to call them goals, that I actually want to achieve. Not for anyone else, but what I want deep inside. I am actually excited to accomplish them. In case you were wondering, no, it's not the "I want to get good results" or "I must get a high-paying job (which I will probably hate in the years to come). It might be very different from what most people want, but I am not "most people" so it doesn't really matter what other people think. Because people can think what they want. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make it any more right. As much as you have to be realistic, your dream can be too. Dreams are not just thinking but making it become your reality. I don't need everyone to approve of my dream, because 10 years down the road, you will see what I was believing in. That in itself is enough for me.

Just when I thought I was going to end January with a bang, I fell sick just before Chinese New Year. I am just laughing at myself and my life. Present tense because I still haven't recovered haha. Someone still haven't turned off the tap of my nose, and my throat is still a desert. However, I am still grateful because I am no longer feeling like I am in an oven 24/7. Neither am I shivering as if I am going to leave this world anytime soon. //Just when I want to live, I am pulled close to death again.//


Calendario: Every month in this world is a chapter. What will start to unravel, or will life remain stagnant?

Find out what happened in my February!

Ignite or burn

I turned behind
Only to see red sparks
Forming to chase me
Will it burn me to nothingness
Or ignite my passion

Should I blend in with the sky
Or be a fiery red

- Inspired by #poetsprompt

To Dream (or not to dream)

Hey,

I know it has been hard. To still believe in what you used to, to trust what you counted on. We, all have dreams. And for those who don't, their dream is to have one too. And just for the fact that you've a dream, it's already beautiful in itself. To have something you want, something you long for, and something you can work towards to.

If it doesn't happen the way you wanted it to be, it's okay to be upset. I'll be standing right here, for you. And I hope you won't ever need me, because that means you're alright. And I'll be happy for you as a friend.

Yes, sometimes, it might seem that that dream is far away, but it might be because you're too close to see the bigger picture. That you're actually taking baby steps towards it, that it's becoming so real you don't understand how yet. But I believe that everything will eventually come into place, to form a beautiful picture. And if it doesn't, it means that it's not the end.

I believe not because I can see everything, but because I hold on to a hope. That it will be something great. One day, we will all come to understand everything that happened. And I hope you will too.

To dream, or not to dream. That is the question, but I believe you do have an answer in your heart.