Lamps

I didn't notice the lamps until today
Each of them was hanging by a thread
In loneliness

Swinging as the wind blows
Giving off a little light
But together
Lighting up the whole place

I can't help
But see each of us in this world
As these lamps

Start again

Tears are a sign of the start of a new life
Since birth
Our first tear shows that we're alive

So now
For every tear we fear to shed
Know that it is okay
Becuase we're starting again

Music

My refuge, a happy pill
When I let its beat
Enter my heart
I feel alive, again
It's like I found, a reason

Calendario: March

On the very first day of March, I did more than I did the whole of last month. Aside from writing, I cooked, I drew, I explored, I photographed. These are things I enjoy doing but haven't been doing so. But it's worth it to wait. I learnt that there are things you need to do, no matter whether you like. When that calls, follow. At that point, you might not be able to do much of the things you enjoy, but press on, because it is waiting for you as patiently as you have been. If you have been impatient, the chance will disappear. However, if you wait, your rewards will be close. Despite some challenging decisions, I have been working on something every day. //No matter how small it might seem now, I know that it will slowly build up to somewhere I want to be.//

Time has been passing some quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong, but then I realized time passes quickly when you are enjoying it. In comparison to the past year, I am indeed happier. Not because things have been perfect but because I have been learning to pace myself, as well as regulate my emotions. Things that might have a lot of effect on me in the past, does not affect me as much now. //Challenges did not grow any smaller, it's just that I am looking at it in a different light now.//

Calendario: Every month in this world is a chapter. What will start to unravel, or will life remain stagnant?

Rewind back to: Chapter 2

Just the girl next door

I don't want to be normal anymore
Not just anyone next door
I had enough of conforming
To what I don't believe
Take me
Let me fly
To my dreams

Stand up

I'll let you push me aside
When you have the strength again

But for now
Just stay
Don't go too far
From my sight

I'm still looking at you
With my heart

I'm waiting for you
To stand up
On your two feet
Scold me all you want
Or do whatever you want
I won't even leave

All I ask
Is that you
Don't just lie there
Motionlessly

If that someone is YOU

When someone is drowning
Do just let the rain fall?
When someone is breaking
Do just let the music play?
When someone is falling
Do you just let them go?

When you are dying
Do you like if everyone simply walks away?

If that someone is you
Will you only then
Do things differently
And perhaps
With love?

Waiting room: Only hope

I was walking in again
Shadows passing by 
I saw someone
Covered with a scarf
And our eyes met

''Hey''
Hi?
''Are you here alone?''
Yeah
''Oh me too''

Realizing I'm not alone
And you're no longer too
Going through blocks of pain
One after another
Sitting together and talking about life
Time and time again
And for this thing we have in common
The reason why we're waiting
For a knife to go under our neck

Thank you
For existing in that same space
For letting our eyes meet
For initiating the conversation first
For making me feel less alone
For letting me comfort you
For giving each other strength

Not because it's not scary
But because at least
We've someone by our side

My only hope is that
If I ever see you again
It won't be in such a cold place
And there would be warmth
In between the space

Curious as to what happened before this? Waiting room: Beep

To Dream (or not to dream)

Hey,

I know it has been hard. To still believe in what you used to, to trust what you counted on. We, all have dreams. And for those who don't, their dream is to have one too. And just for the fact that you've a dream, it's already beautiful in itself. To have something you want, something you long for, and something you can work towards to.

If it doesn't happen the way you wanted it to be, it's okay to be upset. I'll be standing right here, for you. And I hope you won't ever need me, because that means you're alright. And I'll be happy for you as a friend.

Yes, sometimes, it might seem that that dream is far away, but it might be because you're too close to see the bigger picture. That you're actually taking baby steps towards it, that it's becoming so real you don't understand how yet. But I believe that everything will eventually come into place, to form a beautiful picture. And if it doesn't, it means that it's not the end.

I believe not because I can see everything, but because I hold on to a hope. That it will be something great. One day, we will all come to understand everything that happened. And I hope you will too.

To dream, or not to dream. That is the question, but I believe you do have an answer in your heart.

Battles

Scars are evidence of a battle fought
But it goes beyond strength
It's being so afraid
But still fighting
Just because it's something worth fighting for

Even if it means being covered with blood
And life hanging by a thread
You still want to need to
And have to
To feel alive again

This is something
Not to be frowned upon
But to admire
For someone has something
More than life

Worth keeping

Definition: Hope

Hope is something
We want to believe exist
Believing is almost all we can do
Almost is holding on
To that 0.01%
That there's more
To what we can do

When perhaps
Exist doesn't even exist

The beautiful space

Let's travel the world together
See the beauty in the little things
We'll usually miss
The gaps in things that might seem empty
But nothing less to the eyes we use to see
In every step we take
We'll keep learning

Let's talk about the things
That make us not so happy
The dreams we've never got to achieve
Time that stops while moving
Heart that stops while we're still breathing

Let's fill the space in our hearts
And make everything
Less empty

The loudest whisper

If you believe in someone
They don't have to be everything
That is not believing anymore
Because you can see it

Believing is trusting in a hope
Even it seems like it's empty
The loudest little voice that whispers
''I believe in you''

Just like a white canvas
I see all that in you
That no one else sees

Ignite: A fireplace in the winter

It's funny how humans reject Those that seem different When in fact They are special

It might take a lot for us To just Smile But they smile the brightest And ignite a fire Just from the simplest things

Warming up the entire world Just like a fireplace While we're the winter That colds the heart And harden smiles

Don't you think We should think About what we're thinking

We see them as aliens But they're only human
And perhaps To them We are the aliens Do you think they want to be born this way Not understanding so much in this seemingly simple world Don't you think they deserve the most love And your smile

:)

The book: Friendship

Let friendships bring us a long way
Where smiles turn into wrinkles
And until our hair turns white
Till the time our legs are weak

But if one day it expires
I'll renew that book
To read our stories again